the pain, so intense, blinds me
as I struggle to breathe–
to reach a freedom that I can’t remember.
chains grip me, but I never truly break away;
hate and anger bring twisted security.
my hands clench in defiance of happier times
when the hate was buried deeper,
hidden from my own knowledge.
I draw myself closer, tighter, away from the world…
where the bitterness is sweeter;
where I am alone with my pain;
where I am comforted by my own darkness.